Courage To Be New at Something

This is not the first time I’ve tried to start a blog or write consistent posts on social media. I’ve been here before. This place of feeling motivated to write and willing to practice courage by put my words out there. This time I have more momentum. There are more than a few cheerleaders who have encouraged me over the last few months to “Just Start Writing!” I even joined a writing group called Hope*Writers to learn and get connected with other writers.

However, there is still a hesitation in actually putting my words out there.

It is hard to be new at something.

This is when I remind myself that it is hard to be new at something. I’m not new to writing, I’ve been writing in my journals for years. It’s the sharing of my experiences, lessons learned, wisdom gained, and also being honest about what I still have to learn.

It’s even harder to do something new when perfectionism and people pleasing are like backseat drivers in my mind. Like uninvited guests yelling “What you write won’t be perfect so what’s the point.” And equally as annoying, “You better write exactly what ALL the people want to hear or else NO one will read it.” These voices from the backseat can really hold me back from moving forward. The key is to identify the lies and not let them get too loud.

Keep going, no one starts off being excellent.

I remember the pep talks I had with my 7^th grader at the beginning of his volleyball season. Initially, he was going in as a starter with little experience in volleyball. He played his first season on the 6th grade co-ed team. In 7th grade, it’s a whole game with new rules and higher competition. What I realized was he hadn’t really struggled much prior to this new endeavor. He is naturally talented in the things he enjoys doing. If he occasionally bombed a test, it wasn’t on display for everyone to see. 

Volleyball was new and hard. He was also putting a lot of pressure on himself.  It made sense since people (many of them strangers) were watching as he made good plays and mistakes. He seemed to only remember all the mistakes he was making. I kept encouraging him to keep going. I reminded him to check in with himself to see if he was having fun. He was. It was worth it because he improved so much over the season. Their team even placed 4th in the state for Lutheran school volleyball.

It is worth it to be new at something.

Being new at something comes with uncertainty, lack of confidence, and inevitable mistakes. Just by writing those words I feel my body tighten. As if to say, “Why would you even consider doing what includes ALL 3 of those feelings?!” I take a deep breath reminding myself that it is hard to be new at something. And it is worth it. It is worth it because in the last 4 decades of my life I’ve gone from novice to expert in many different areas of my personal and professional life. My courage grew each time I persevered at something new.

When it comes to writing, I use my journal daily to write about my current real-life struggles, what I’m curious about and how I want to continue to grow and heal. Life is messy most days and I don’t claim to have the answers! I am not a “Look, I made it and here’s how you can too” kind of writer.

You are not alone in your new thing.

Maybe your new thing is a job promotion in a new department or a whole new company. Maybe you are new parent, or just moved to a new city. Perhaps you joined a new volleyball team, or any other life transition. I see you. I’m in this new thing with you. I am normalizing that being new at something is hard and worth it.

Build your courage.

Here’s what I’m telling myself. It is ok to feel nervous, scared or even terrified in the new, hard thing you are doing. Do it anyway and build your courage. Hold space for tremendous personal growth. The uncertainty will become clearer in time. Your confidence will increase with practice. Remember, the best way to learn is from your mistakes.